I am sitting in a fancy restaurant in a posh part of the town. The gentleman across from me has ordered some very exotic sounding food. The ambiance is welcoming while being intimidating at the same time. No, I'm not describing my first date. This is a business meeting. But that does not make all of this any less fairy-tale-like. The gentleman himself is very impressive. Reserved, yet quietly friendly. Never allowing a dull moment to transpire, yet not talkative. I find myself having to do very little to maintain the momentum. So I just sit back and let him lead. While he begins to describe his choice in desserts, I find myself trailing off a bit. " Hmm..this is good. I could probably close this deal right about now. He will not be hard to work with. It could work out quite well. If I pushed him just a little, his face would land in that lady's soup."
BACK UP. WHAT?? Did I just think THAT?? SERIOUSLY??What the What?? I pull myself back to the present and try to pretend I am listening to his recipe of chocolate souffle like my life depends on it. Its quite easy. Poor guy does not have a clue. I close the deal, shake his hand. Till later.
And so this is. Thoughts that pop up from somewhere so close to nowhere, it is impossible to tame them. And it could happen anywhere, triggered by absolutely anything. A strange word in someone's incredibly sad story and my head is a dancing arena of jokes, most of them quite ugly. All you can hope for is to have a face that cooperates with you. Sometimes, that is too much to ask as well. And remember, if you thought surely everyone else sees the joke in this, they do not. You are a victim of your own sense of humor.
I believed I would just have to continue with this affliction. I mean, what good could a shrink do?? And how sympathetic would he be if you laughed at his at something he said quite unwittingly. So instead, I began to devise ways of dealing with it. By which I mean ways in which I could disguise it best. Coughing, snorting, holding a handkerchief to your mouth once you have been at it for long enough. It could be managed. And so it has been.
A few days ago, I stumbled upon some interesting trivia on twitter. Apparently, this unique situation I just described to you is not all that unique after all. Popularly known as 'Intrusive Thoughts', this condition is too much of a non-issue to even be a condition. Studies have been conducted and it has been around for quite some time. I would rue this as a loss of exclusivity. Except, I'm too glad. Turns out everyone has a weird somewhere close to nowhere in them. Life will do that to you I guess. But its all good. Safety in numbers, right?
BACK UP. WHAT?? Did I just think THAT?? SERIOUSLY??What the What?? I pull myself back to the present and try to pretend I am listening to his recipe of chocolate souffle like my life depends on it. Its quite easy. Poor guy does not have a clue. I close the deal, shake his hand. Till later.
And so this is. Thoughts that pop up from somewhere so close to nowhere, it is impossible to tame them. And it could happen anywhere, triggered by absolutely anything. A strange word in someone's incredibly sad story and my head is a dancing arena of jokes, most of them quite ugly. All you can hope for is to have a face that cooperates with you. Sometimes, that is too much to ask as well. And remember, if you thought surely everyone else sees the joke in this, they do not. You are a victim of your own sense of humor.
I believed I would just have to continue with this affliction. I mean, what good could a shrink do?? And how sympathetic would he be if you laughed at his at something he said quite unwittingly. So instead, I began to devise ways of dealing with it. By which I mean ways in which I could disguise it best. Coughing, snorting, holding a handkerchief to your mouth once you have been at it for long enough. It could be managed. And so it has been.
A few days ago, I stumbled upon some interesting trivia on twitter. Apparently, this unique situation I just described to you is not all that unique after all. Popularly known as 'Intrusive Thoughts', this condition is too much of a non-issue to even be a condition. Studies have been conducted and it has been around for quite some time. I would rue this as a loss of exclusivity. Except, I'm too glad. Turns out everyone has a weird somewhere close to nowhere in them. Life will do that to you I guess. But its all good. Safety in numbers, right?
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