I Know...

...this doesn't concern me in the least (not anymore anyway) but I still think you handled this terribly and I am disappointed with you.

Yes, just needed to say that.

Glhf.

- Lily

Suicide Girls to Suicide Notes

I find it odd describing topics that take my fancy as being morbid.

I will admit that there are obviously certain topics you wouldn't bring up during a Bible reading at Sunday School. Heck, even close friends of mine raise an eyebrow [or crucifix] when I mention my latest Google-happy subject, but the reasons behind it aren't as literal as most people assume.

I once tried explaining to someone why I read topics/watched vids that vary from the 'norm' - not surprisingly, I failed. For example, I watched male gay porn vid snippets not out of my own fetishist tendencies, but rather to understand where it stems from. What may be "OMGWTFGROSS" to you is actually part of who some one else is, someone that you may know or interact with. Subjects that are taboo don't magically disappear if you ignore their existence - they still influence the undercurrents of society and its functionality, or disfunctionality depending on your own views.

I've come across quite a few people who tend to call themselves observers, watchers of the human condition. It's safe to say that we all are, or else we wouldn't be able to gauge acceptable levels of behaviour within a 'civilised' society. Deviations are viewed as fetishisms or the open followers of a particular mindset are stereotyped. "omgwtf duz dis hv 2 do wit dis post??", I hear you scream.

It's all because I need to know, I have to know.

So you like dead octopus tentacles in every plausible orifice...why?
So you prefer hentai to real flesh-and-blood porn...why?
So you can't get enough of reading up on the latest headmasher accident on rotten.com...why?

Yes, I am aware [and I've been told] that I ask too many questions. But how else do you expect me to find out what makes you tick?

My latest knowledge obsession is with suicide notes or last words. A person's frame of mind before they shuffle off this mortal coil, it really is fascinating. Suicide notes are meatier than last words though, often spouting words of wisdom from misery-induced epiphanies or revelations of despair. It's odd to think that what we view as a result of the inability to cope or a mental problem can actually be accompanied by such clarity, logic and bravery. The notes that touch me most are those written by those afflicted with terminal illnesses.

Oddly enough, it's not all doom and gloom. Some suicide notes/last words are actually quite funny and reflect well the personalities of those who said it. Oscar Wilde's last quip was "Either the wallpaper goes or I do".

If you're curious, check out these irl cases as well as these prominent pop culture notes. For now, it's back to the vanilla existence we refer to as reality *takes off superhero costume*.

-Lily

Cover Up Love's Alibi

I'm pretty sure I was born alternative.

Scoff if you will, but seriously, how many little girls do you know of that refused to wear any other shoes besides boots, <3'd her tartan skirts and hurled brimstone in the mere presence of anything pink? Yars, you godless skeptics, concede fifty fucking cool points for me. Regardless, this post isn't so much about me but rather the awesomecools women in music that had a pretty hardcore impact on the way I view music. Yeah, the alt/grunge/metal movement is predominantly testosterone driven, but even the most diehard grunge kiddie has to admit that certain women definitely changed the way music was made. Don't believe me? A few examples: Kim Deal and The Pixies, D'Arcy and The Pumpkins, Courtney Love and every musician she's slept with.

These days, the market is decidedly different. Everyone from fashionistas to people in the music industry reference people who's names they don't even know. "Oooh, sexy two-toned blonde hair, I think I'll borrow that. I mean, who the fuck is Debbie Harry anyway? Someone important?".

Er, yeah.

Pop starlets smudge their eyeliner and add a guitar riff during post-production so that their teeny-bopper fanclub can scream "OMG ROCK ON *mano cornuto*".

Yeah, Hannah Montana, you're totally the femme icon </sarcasm>.

Anyhow, back to business:

Joan Jett: My earliest influence, she sang about love and more than love. A brilliant guitarist, she rocked out and the fact that she enjoyed what she did came through in her music. Seriously, try finding a pic of her playing guitar where she's not smiling or not totally "in the moment" - impossible, I say. She was most popular in the mainstream for her song I Love Rock n Roll with her band, The Blackhearts [z0mg, soooo cool]. For those of you who even know who she is, there will be a biopic made about Joan and her fallout with Cherie Currie from The Runaways. I spat fire when I heard who would be portraying their characters - that idiotic, retarded, talentless and ignorant dolt Kristen Stewart from that vampfag flick Twilight as Joan and Dakota Fanning as Cherie. GAH.



Debbie Harry: A former Playboy bunny, waitress, and brilliant vocalist, the catchiness of Call Me embedded itself firmly in my brain until I rediscovered Blondie toward the late 90s. And yeah, I'd totally go lesbian for her in this pic [I know you would too].









Shirley Manson: I was intrigued by Garbage initially because of the Butch Vig factor, but Shirley deserved as much of the spotlight with a voice that can growl yet force you to empathize [#1 Crush].










Skin: Skunk Anansie formed in the mid 90s and Skin was everything but your average vocalist pin-up girl. Besides also being a more than capable bassist, her raw voice added a bittersweet edge to some of the saddest songs written. Stoosh is widely regarded as Skunk Anansie's best album and I'd have to agree. It spawned Brazen (Weep), Twisted and Hedonism - three of my favourites.







Dolores O'Riordan: I remember the first time I heard a Cranberries song - I was getting ready for school, probably Grade 2 or 3, and this weird as 2g1c [read: shit] music vid came on GMSA [Good Morning South Africa, lulz, flashback]. Utterly charmed, I later found out that the song was called Dreams. As for their follow-up single, Linger, even at 7, I was pretty sure the only way to describe it was <3.







Tori Amos: Tori was one of the front-runners of the femme empowerment phase of the music industry in the 90s. Crucify was my introduction to Tori and for those of you who don't know her, I'd suggest you go that route as well. A brilliant yet controversial songwriter, the meanings behind her words still evolve and hit me in new ways every time I listen to her.






Hrm.

They just don't make 'em like they used to.

- Lily

Life Imitates Art Imitates Life Imitates Daytime TV

*rah:
Most bizarre dream ever
Will tell you when i wake up

Lily:
lol

*rah:
Seriously I dreamt of illegal downloads being traced to laptop

Lily:
O_O
dude
if that were true
we're both fucking dead

*rah:
Being blackmailed by some tit from primary school who got naar cos I cut his access to my fb

Lily:
they'd have a pic of Kurt frowning down on us from heaven
"yes kids, don't do what Lily and rah do...they got caught for violating the hard work that us musicians put into our albums. Buy legal, long live rock n roll."

-Lily

I Exist in the Third Person on the Intertronz

As usual, my Saturday night exploits avoid the social and indulge the silliness of random surfing, IRC and snack raids. With *rah as my co-pilot, pointless clicking takes on a different meaning, especially in light of my latest new-fangled fetish [no, not squid again -_-]. What would this Holy Grail of awesomeness be, but the search for the awesomest, coolest geek t-shirts. For a long time, I've avoided buying t-shirts out of the genuine hatred for those nausea-inducing vomit-painted crap that most retail stores dish out for your average, generic wimminz.

Most of my attempts at t-shirt shopping involves butterflies, Miss Shy[-ly, lulz inside joke], Miss Cute, Miss WhateverAttractsAttention2MyCleavage and other shitty pre-teen crap. I conceded that my only chance of finding easily accessible cool tees would be in the mens department where, in the very least, I'd get a Batman stamp of awesomeness. Lately, I've become bored with with the distinct lack of cool permeating my shopping experience and headed off to my refuge [the internetz, duh] to begin the Epic Geek T-Search [EGTS from now on].

Observation #1: South Africa lacks awesome tee sites. All I've come across is T-Shirt Terrorist. Cool stuff, I have a soft spot for the Tamil Tigers tee, but yeah, not enough geek, not enough variety and too much like T-Shirt Hell to be taken seriously.

Observation #2: While international sites, mostly US-based, have the variety, a lowly t-shirt costs a heck of a lot of money, not taking into account what you'll be spending on postage. Also, while the prints are really awesome, the t-shirt material itself is not of good quality in relation to price.

Observation #3: Finding cool geek tees are difficult. Finding cool math tees *not* involving pi...the difficulty is about as rational as √-1 is. I did manage to find one with a cool saying:

"sin cos tan....get triggy with it."

Lulz, I loll'd...hard.

Tbh, the best site I've come across is ThinkGeek. Not like that's new to you, fellow geeks. *rah and I spent a fair amount of surfing_time cooing over their stuff. Here are some of my favs:





Hrm, yars, enoughs with the t-shirts already.

[23:38] <&Lily> i keep forgetting to get that vid of the coworker and upload
[23:38] <&Lily> <&Lilyvoice> lulz, i'z gonna put it on the internets and makes you a star
[23:39] <&Lily> <+coworker> z0MG RLY??@#@#
[23:39] <&Lily> <&Lilyvoice> yarly. doit bitch.
[23:39] <&rah> HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
[23:39] <&Lily> *coworker moonwalks.
[23:40] <&NickLeStrange> lol
[23:40] <&Lily> its disturbing that i can only relate irl events in the form of irc logs :/

Keep it reals yo.

-Lily

Work

For most people, like myself, that word evokes feelings accompanied by expletives not suitable for mention before 12am on a Sunday. This particular morning, I feel worse than beer bottle humped and run over by a naked Beth Ditto on a rampage, so I couldn't give a bleeding fuck. Yesterday was possibly the longest, most draining work day of my life since having a "real" job. Close to 14 hours of running around (with a 30 min break somewhere in the middle) has left me unable to manage anything more strenuous than touch typing for the next 24 hours at least. Needless to say, the cujo-factor appeared in evilness of epic proportions.

But that is another blog post altogether.

Fortune magazine still releases it's 100 Best Companies To Work For and have just distributed their 2009 version, global recession or not. Their Top Ten listing is as follows:

1. NetApp
   "five paid days for volunteer work, $11,390 adoption aid, and autism coverage -- used by 43 employees since 2006 at a cost of $242,452. The company has gained market share during the slump, hasn't had layoffs, and has more than $2 billion in cash on hand to help it ride out the global financial crisis."
   
   
2. Edward Jones
   
   
3. Boston Consulting
   
   
4. Google - Google was last year's #1, lulz sux2bu.
   "Tech powerhouse marked tenth birthday in 2008. While the company still attracts 777,000 applicants a year, hiring has slowed, and Google recently cut frills like afternoon tea and an annual ski trip."
   
   
5. Wegmans
   
   
6. Cisco
   
   
7. Genentech -
   "The biotech leader continued to resist a takeover by shareholder Roche; it also implemented retention bonuses and severance ranging from 18 to 52 weeks' pay for anyone terminated after a merger."
   
   
8. Methodist Hospital
   
   
9. Goldman Sachs
   
   
10. Nugget Market
    

The company I currently work for is actually in the South African version of the Top Ten Companies list, and yet, what I feel right now is far from pride in any sense of the word. What makes a employer good differs from person to person and I have to wonder what makes a decent job. Ideally, any form of employment ought to be a stepping stone within in a career as opposed to being the way you get your bills paid every month. For some, the physical work environment is pivotal to churning out creativity or productivity so boring grey office cubicles are a definite no-no. For others the sense of achievement gained from a challenging task is enough and their reward lies in their work.

I don't think anyone would say no to a chunky pay check, but under most circumstances, a hefty salary comes at a cost - either harm in the physical sense or, as with most senior management, the chance to be dismissed with a snap of the wrist. With consideration to the economical climate, job security rates high these days and yes, even I had to o_O at 18 to 52 weeks of severance pay offered by Genentech.

Tbh, I envy people that say they adore their jobs and my search for that close-to-ideal career move is still open. A wise person once told me that "it's what you make of it", I hope they're right.

-Lily

Of Love, Peace and Pi

Geek girls have always existed, but it used to be easier finding alien DNA under your fingernails than a femme who knows what a conditional loop is and when to use it. This topic has often come up between *rah and myself, the almost complete invisibility of good n' proper femme nerds. Since tonight is one of those lame Saturdays at home, with a definite lack of *rah, I may as well blog about it.

The general gender-based perception is that while males tend to be the scientists or mathematicians, females are linguistically orientated. Nothing wrong with that, or the reverse, for that matter, but it's just curious that it's so bloody hard to find a girl majoring in Math or Physics at a university. I remember some girls from my highschool being good at the science subjects, but they rocked out the A symbols with a distinct lack of love for pi [lulz]. Math was just another notch up to their point score to get into a BComm and a path towards chartered accountancy, a cute little Hyundai and an ivory wedding gown a year or so later.

Another issue is the deficiency of genuine geek femmes. So many claim to be part of the 1337 squad, but their knowledge [normally siphoned out of crap-as-hell media trickses like Hackers...or Wikipedia *does a Hail Mary*], can be shot down within a minute or so. Although I may sound as if I'm spitting out nails when typing that [tbh, I am], some do it unintentionally, kinda like Penny from BBT. I call this geek behavioural mimicry*, the act of adopting geek phrases, actions and other geek -isms even though you are a n00b of epic fail proportions.

Regardless of stats stating that the percentage of women with science degrees has more than doubled in the past few decades, I must ask, where the fuck are they? Saving the dolphins and kids with Ebola I suppose...forget CERN, arguing how dramatized celestial dark matter is or the failure behind Superstring Theory.

Ah wells...

- Lily

* Disclaimer: It's my term, I coined it, try to pass it off as your own and I will hunt you down and stab you in the face...multiple times.