How I Fit Into the Real World

I have always lived my life vicariously. One foot firmly planted in the real world, the other in the world of my making. Sometimes, the lines between the two have blurred. Other times, I have been painfully aware of their distinction. I often ask myself, "Why am I doing this to myself? Why not give one up? Be mad or utterly dogmatic. At least, I'll know where I stand. Clarity for the sake of peace and calm." And yet, here I am. Still juggling the two sides, humoring both parties. Living the Double Life.
I am ordinary. Unremarkable in every way that matters. I see myself in every distant face. Up close, of course it is always a different story. This somehow makes me uniquely qualified to draw some broadstroke conclusions. Maybe we all are doing the same thing? Living a very present life in a one bedroom apartment only because looking at a high resolution picture of Paris is easing the pain? Watching with a numbing pain as taxes bleed us dry while smiling at the adorable Jennifer Lawrence's red carpet gaffes.
Life is unrelenting. Merciless in its attention-seeking antics and condescending in the face of our stumbles. And it knows how to keep us on our toes. Whether the dreamer or the pragmatist, no one is spared. So I say, go ahead. Dream the impossible and smile at your confusion. Live it. Love it. Own it.